You probably wouldn't expect a leadership coach to suggest you use AI. But plenty of people already use AI to think through their lives…I am one of them! Harvard Business Review's 2025 analysis of how people really use generative AI found that therapy and companionship had become the number one use, with organising life and finding purpose close behind.¹
The trick to using AI is in what you ask it. Left to its own devices, AI loves to give advice: describe a problem and you'll get a tidy list of ten things to do. That often skips the part where you work out what you actually think. With the right prompt, AI coaching looks quite different. Instead of handing you answers, it asks you questions and keeps asking.
Below are three ChatGPT prompts for self-reflection that you can copy into whichever AI tool you use. Simply copy them into whichever AI tool you prefer, replacing the text in brackets with your own details.
Ask better coaching questions and get better answers
What keeps us stuck is usually something underneath the problem: a fear, a competing priority, or a "should" we picked up from someone else. Good coaching questions are open and a little uncomfortable, and they come without an agenda. AI can be surprisingly good at asking them.
In one study comparing two 10-month trials, an AI chatbot coach was as effective as human coaches at helping people reach their goals, and both did significantly better than control groups.²
Prompt 1: When you're feeling stuck
Being stuck is rarely about a lack of information. This prompt asks AI to slow down and stay curious with you.
Prompt: "I'd like you to act as a coach, not an adviser. I'm feeling stuck with [describe the situation]. Please don't give me solutions or suggestions. Ask me one open question at a time, wait for my answer, and use what I say to shape your next question. Help me understand what's really keeping me stuck."
Answer honestly and give it more than a sentence. The more you put in, the better the questions get.
Prompt 2: When you're facing a difficult decision
Hard decisions are hard because more than one option matters to you. In NGO, conservation and advocacy work, that often means weighing the mission against your capacity, or your team's needs against your own.
Prompt: "I'm trying to decide [describe the decision]. Rather than telling me what to do, help me explore it. Ask me about what I value most, what each option would cost me, what I'm afraid of and what I might regret. Ask one question at a time. When we're done, summarise what you've heard about my priorities."
Seeing your own values written back to you can be really clarifying.
Prompt 3: When you want to challenge your own thinking
AI has a habit of agreeing with you.
A 2026 Stanford study published in Science tested 11 leading AI models and found they affirmed users' actions around 49% more often than other people did. Even a single conversation with an overly agreeable chatbot left participants more convinced they were right.³ So it pays to ask for pushback directly.
Prompt: "Here's how I'm currently thinking about [situation]: [your view]. I want you to challenge me. Point out the assumptions I'm making, any blind spots I might have and perspectives I haven't considered, including how the other people involved might see this. Be direct and don't just agree with me."
It can feel a bit bruising. That's often a sign it's working.
What AI coaching can't quite do
These prompts can take you a long way. But we'd be leaving something out if we stopped here.
A human coach notices what you're not saying. They see your eyes light up when you talk about the work you love, and your shoulders drop when you mention the conversation you've been avoiding. They hear the pause before you answer, and the way your energy shifts as you get close to something difficult.
A coach can sit with silence without rushing to fill it. They respond to what's happening between two people in the room, not just the words typed into a box. People seem to feel this too.
In the International Coaching Federation's 2026 Global Coaching Study, 80% of consumers said they would prefer coaching to stay human-led, and loss of empathy was their biggest concern about AI (43%).⁴
When you want more than good questions
So try the prompts, and come back to them whenever you need to think something through.
And if there comes a time when you'd like someone to notice the things a chatbot can't, I'd be glad to talk. I offer an introductory conversation with no pressure to commit, just a chance to see whether coaching feels right for you.
Get in touch whenever you're ready.
References
Zao-Sanders, M. (2025, April 9). How people are really using gen AI in 2025. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2025/04/how-people-are-really-using-gen-ai-in-2025
Terblanche, N., Molyn, J., de Haan, E., & Nilsson, V. O. (2022). Comparing artificial intelligence and human coaching goal attainment efficacy. PLoS ONE, 17(6), e0270255. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0270255
Cheng, M., Lee, C., Khadpe, P., Yu, S., Han, D., & Jurafsky, D. (2026). Sycophantic AI decreases prosocial intentions and promotes dependence. Science, 391(6792). https://doi.org/10.1126/science.aec8352
International Coaching Federation. (2026). 2026 ICF Global Coaching Study: Executive summary. https://coachingfederation.org/resource/2026-icf-global-coaching-study-executive-summa ry/
